Well, you made it. God only knows why you're here, but you are nevertheless welcome.

If you have visited this site before, you have our deepest sympathy and even-deeper disdain at living such a sad existence that you decided to return. Through the tears of self-pity that drip into your TV-dinner-for-one you will notice that the site has changed, and now features some actual content. Our Gastarbeiter underlings, Raul and Jam-Jam, have finally had their work permits back from the Algerian forger and are now able to take up their position as master web craftsmen - et voila!

Those of you with experience of the super-net-inter-web will know that clicking a link to the left will take you to another page of hilarious wackiness.
For those of you who find themselves terrified and lost in a world full of frightening new technology, whose electronic claws keep you pinned to your badly-stuffed velour armchair (hi mom, hi dad), clicking a link to the left will cause your shiny new electronic abacus that the nice young man from PCWorld brought along yesterday to explode; this will be the catalyst for a raging inferno that will proceed to burn down your house. As you stand shivering in the dressing gown and slippers that are all you will have time to rescue from a lifetime of memories, watching your comfortable little house disappear into the dark winter evening, you will curse yourself for ever having dabbled with the demon technology and wonder why you didn't stick to the quiet nights-in with the radiogram and a port-and-lemon. Don't say we didn't warn you.

So, click away. If you enjoy the site, excellent. If you don't, excellent. We never liked you anyway - and the goldfish we looked after for you that one time you were on holiday? Well it didn't die from natural causes like we said.

n & m